In Less Then 24 Hours...

This is gonna be an insane attempt at being brief. Appraiser came and left but not without a taste as to whom she's just dealt with. Checking my homeowners fees meant logging on to the laptop. Leaving her free to Wander from room to room, measuring, turning on the water, etc, etc.
Oh dear gawd... where is she going? Jumping up, my foot tangles in the cord. SSSSHiiiiit... shit... shit... shit. Flying face first across the room, she rushes to my aid.
That voice, one I'm unfamiliar with repeating over and over, "Are you okay?"
"Shit." Composing myself... rough.

Then the phone call today from my bud, "The Italian Stallion." We closed last night and it was my good fortune to have gotten off at 10pm. At 10:40 we got robbed. Well kinda of...
Brief synopsis;
Handed a note that read, "Stay cool and give me your money."

Italians response: The look... the one that says your kidding right?(not) "Fuck you! FUUUUCK YOU!"

911 responded, and a block down the road he was captured. Had it been me? I'd merely have wet myself before hitting the concrete.
All in a days work.
Farkle